My eyes crossed as I stared at the words I’d written. As they blurred and came back into focus, they looked different.
A minute ago they flowed so smoothly, but now they seem ugly and awkward.
Highlight, delete. Highlight, delete.
I wondered why the blank page had become such a familiar sight — why writer’s block always followed close on the heels of each new inspiration.
I was swimming in unfinished drafts, and a few finished ones that just weren’t good enough to ship. In fact, my writing was rarely good enough to leave the safety of a Word document.
It’s that cursed, chronic writer’s block! Holding me back from creating the work I constantly daydreamed about, the work that was refined, brilliant. The work that was….perfect.
It’s not just for neat freaks
The word perfectionist easily conjures images of someone using Q-tips to dust tiny nooks and crannies, meticulously lining up their pencils in a perfectly straight row or feverishly hammering away at a piano concerto until their fingers are bleeding.
This is why it never occurred to me that I might be one — I’m the stereotypical messy, absent-minded, slightly neurotic creative — and I know and accept that I’m far from perfect.
But perfectionism is common among creative minds, and it is possible for artists to be perfectionists about just one thing — their art.
After a careful examination of the habits and thought patterns surrounding my craft, I realized I wasn’t just suffering from chronic writer’s block…Perfectionism was causing me to have writer’s block. It was the root of it.
So how can you tell if perfectionism is what’s holding you back from creating your best work?
Here are a few questions to help you gain insight, and some advice for how to move forward.
1. What are my expectations?
What are your expectations about your career and writing ability, and are they reasonable?
When I first started writing, I knew I had a natural talent, and I also knew the kind of writing I thought was brilliant. But when I started clacking away at the keyboard, I became discouraged when my writing wasn’t measuring up to my own taste level. Are you comparing yourself to writers who have been working for 20- years, even though you’re just getting started?
Criticism of my writing also hit me hard. When my guest post was rejected or never responded to, I immediately doubted my ability to ever be successful. Are you expecting to never fail or experience setbacks?
Your favorite authors and bloggers didn’t become successful overnight — they’ve paid their dues through countless setbacks and thousands of “imperfect” paragraphs. The insights they’ve gained from their failures helped shape them into the amazing writers we admire. Failures aren’t roadblocks, they are part of the path we walk to improving our craft, and understanding this can help you move forward bravely.
2. Am I holding back?
How does it feel when you sit down and start to write? Do you allow your thoughts to flow naturally, and then go back and edit them, or are you trying to write perfectly on the first run?
When you plan to submit your work for publication, it’s easy to type as if your audience is already reading it—and scrutinizing every word. I still catch myself doing this, and my work ends up sounding contrived and lacking authenticity.
Write your first draft like no one will ever see it—just get your ideas on the page and don’t worry about “writing well.” After you’ve expressed your ideas, you can edit and mold it with your audience in mind.
Also, make “free-writing” a habit. Free-writing, or writing your thoughts freely without the pressure of “creating” anything, can be a helpful tool to kick-start your creativity when you’re feeling stuck.
3. How am I treating myself?
What would you say to a dear friend who was struggling to write a novel and asked for encouragement?
Would you say, “Well, if you’re struggling this much, it probably means you’re not a very good writer. You should probably give up before you embarrass yourself.”
Of course you wouldn’t say that to someone you love — but do you catch yourself saying lines like this to yourself?
This is the hallmark of my : I am accepting of other’s faults, but ruthlessly judgmental when it comes to my own. How can you be creative in this negative mental environment?
Self-abuse is a tough habit to break, but if you can catch yourself in the act of cruel and judgmental self-talk, you can stop the negative feedback loop. Rephrase your self-talk to be more accepting and compassionate. Even if you struggle with genuine self-love, just saying the kind words will help get you in a better frame of mind.
Accepting perfectionism as part of you
Perfectionism isn’t something that will go away — you’ll most likely be struggling with it for the rest of your life. But if you can recognize the ways it interferes with your creativity and productivity, it doesn’t have to stall your career.
Submitting your cherished work to the public is terrifying, but it’s important to remember that your purpose as a writer is to inspire others.
When you accept the natural imperfection of your work, you create the perfect opportunity to learn and grow–and to serve the world the best way you know how.
Can you relate? In what ways does perfectionism hold you back? Share in the comments below.